Choosing A Path

Life is full of tough choices, many of them which bear the weight of consequence and struggle. And again, I refer to the worthiness of struggle. We all must at some point, and through it all we have to keep in mind that we aren't alone, nor are we singled out from the rest of the world when we feel pain. Others feel pain, deeper than we do at times, different types of pain. Whether we lose a friend, a family member or even someone we've never had face to face contact with (thanks, internet) it counts as a loss on some level. Again, we must keep in mind, "This isn't the end, life goes on."

My grandfather passed away in December of 2001, just before Christmas. The day before he passed my aunt left a message on my machine, asking me to call her for updates on his condition. He had suffered a minor stroke, mixed with complications from the flu and had been asleep for the better part of three days. I called her, we spoke and she never once let on how he was doing, only mentioning that he was a strong man as well as stubborn, still holding onto life. He was funny like that. She placed the phone to his ear, resisting the urge to beg for him to wake up I only said, "Hi, guelo, its Carissa...are you ok?"

Then I heard his voice. He sounded weak, but he sounded happy. He replied with, "Hi...si...bien, bien." We stayed on the phone, chit chatting for a few more minutes and then he fell back to sleep. When I can afford to go pay my respects to him, I will hop on a plane to Puerto Rico and pay him a visit. Couldn't travel overseas at the time of his funeral, thanks to 9/11. For now he's in my heart, as well as the memories of him wanting me to sneak him candy without my grandmother finding out.

Are we bound by our own sense of commitment to the memory of another person or is it better that we live our lives, and do right by them? I don't think either one is a terrible path to follow.